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Cult Of Luna’s epic 2008 album ‘Eternal Kingdom’ is one of the most compelling and fascinating concept albums of recent times (with the grand exception of Fall Of Efrafa’s peerless Watership Down trilogy). When the band were scouting for rehearsal space in the run up to recording, they chanced upon the site of a demolished mental hospital. Sifting through the relics leftover from the days of the active institution they discovered the journal of a man named Holger Nilsson, who, far removed from his ‘Everybody’s Talkin’ namesake, was a far more troubled soul. Nilsson was committed to the asylum after murdering his wife by drowning her under the command of a malevolent Owl Demon known as the Näcken.

The album is allegedly drafted entirely from Nilsson’s journals and regardless of the amount of truth behind the story, it makes for a great enticement to familiarize newcomers with the bands epic soundscapes and dense rhythmical patterns.

The lyrics are oblique but enthralling, with tracks such as Ghost Trail drawing the listener into a false sense of security before brutally pummeling them whilst screaming;

‘The king, with beak and talons. The king, in the form of man’ in one of the most beautiful breakdowns this side of Neurosis.

It is with great joy that I recently heard that Cult Of Luna have released a hardback book based on the aforementioned journal, with stunning illustrations by highly talented artist Joris Vanpoucke. The book, entitled ‘Eviga Riket’ is a bi-lingual publication (Swedish/English) and is accompanied by a spoken word CD featuring new material by the band and readings by Anna Guthrie. The first printing sold out almost immediately, but the good news is that a second is currently in production. This promises to be a coffee table must have for any discerning fan.

Keep an eye on Cult Of Luna’s official website for more information HERE

For more of Joris Vanpoucke’s work, click HERE.

It appears that 2010 is going to be a busy year for Adrien Brody. This summer will see the release of Robert Rodriguez’s ‘Predators’. Please, please, please let it not suck. The only good thing that I ever saw a Predator in after Predator 2 was that Bring Me The Horizon video.

To keep us going until the July release of Predators, Brody will also be appearing in the intriguing looking ‘Splice’. This peculiar looking little movie caused a massive bidding war at the Sundance Film Festival this year, with Warner Brothers eventually picking it up. Hardly an indie, it’s from the makers of ‘Cube’, but it does have great potential, especially if the trailers are anything to go by.

In a genetically modified nutshell, they’re trying to create some kind of human-y – creature-y hybrid, probably with the sole intention of having sex with it (well, a: it’s not a male creature and b: isn’t that why man creates everything? – With the possible exception of the electric pencil sharpener and combine harvesters, although I’ve seen certain websites…). I particularly like the stilletto hands and her pointy tail. It could either be a marvellous social commentary on cloning and the inherent perils that arise from dicking around with mans genetic makeup, or it could be an updated version of ‘Species’.

Is it terribly wrong that I’m happy with either of these outcomes?

‘Splice’ is out in about two weeks and we can all see it and decide from ourselves as we bring ourselves 90 minutes closer to the grave whilst watching it.

You can get more information by visiting the official website HERE
Here’s the trailer:

Which for some reason, totally reminded me of this old Playstation 2 Advert by Chris Cunningham.

Oh and here’s that BMTH video, which I love. Especially the bit on the bus, poor Predator.

Because the world is crying out for yet another unsolicited review of Kick Ass I bring you; an unsolicited review of Kick Ass.

I was wary. There had been far too much internet hype about this one for me to approach it with my guard down. Scars still exist from the last Mark Millar adaptation, ‘Wanted’, but let’s keep this strictly above the belt for now. The difference between comics and movies is that a comic can be produced with as little as one or two people having complete creative control. Movies don’t quite work that way, there are sponsors, producers and studios to please along the way, most of whom know as much about cinema as the Cornish Mole People who were driven underground in Medieval times by the Saxons never to surface again.

So, like an absolute prick, I sat watching the opening credits with my arms folded, absolutely certain that I was going to hate every minute of this.

Boy, was I ever proved wrong.

It wasn’t long before I was whooping and cheering like a normal person at some kind of sporting event where men do things to excite other men. The script was genuinely funny, which was an initial concern, seeing as it was adapted by Jane Goldman’s breasts. Apparently they are more adept at screenwriting than one would imagine. Stardust doesn’t count because Stardust is the cinematic equivalent of playing with your sisters My Little Pony and having a better time than with your own toys. It might be enjoyable, but don’t bloody tell anyone about it soft lad. You’re Granddad didn’t fight a war so that you could sit around watching movies about faeries and sparkles and shite.

McLovin is fantastic as Red Mist, son of a rich bald baddie, who has lots of expensive British art in his apartment. There was a Mark Quinn bust in his entrance hall and a massive Damien Hirst picture in the kitchen. This is to show that the creators are CULTURED and KNOW THINGS ABOUT ART. I’m not being unduly cynical, they are, ask them.

Lots of pratfalls and teenage humour are rife throughout, but this adds to the tone rather than detracts from it. There is no point during the running time of the movie that you feel things have all gone a bit smug, or too clever for their own good. It is what it is, and what it is, is a hell of a lot of fun. It’s akin to one of those colour changing night lights that you give babies to help them sleep at night, the ones that fill the room with slowly merging primary colours and play nice music.

Speaking of babies; The Daily Mail was in a right old state upon the films release, claiming that it featured a ‘heavily sexualised and foul mouthed female child actor’. The furore was all over Twitter in the way that the discovery of an unusually discoloured dog turd would be all over Twitter (IE; Everyone coos and whoops for an hour or so until a minor celebrity dies, and interesting / funny news story breaks or a natural disaster happens). After seeing the movie, it was clear that the ‘foul mouthed’ scenes in question were all pretty much shown in the NSFW trailer. When she drops the ‘C’ bomb, it’s a little clunky and awkward, but that’s about it. As for ‘highly sexualised’? Erm, what movie were you guys watching? It’s a child, yes, in a superhero outfit. If that gets you off then you have some serious issues to deal with my friend. Also, no Joel Schumacher Batman movies for you, EVER!

If this is grounds for something being highly sexualised, then I think that’s your own shit you’re dealing with right there. There is absolutely nothing about her character that could be taken into a sexual context, unless that context is being created by your own guilty fantasies. I think that this says a lot more about the journalists in question than the movie itself.

There is nothing that would be on par with Luc Besson’s ‘Leon’ for example, in which a young girl misplaces fatherly affection for sexual attraction in a similar Assassin/Trainee scenario. Hit Girl’s mentor is her father, played by Nicolas Cage, giving his best performance since ‘Leaving Las Vegas’.

Kick Ass himself could have been played by anybody, but curly boy gave it a good shot and it fit in well with the rest of the characters (who were better).

I like being proved wrong, it stops me from ever getting an ego. Kick Ass was without a doubt, one of the most enjoyable popcorn movies I have seen in a long time and I look forward to the next one.

You’ll find out about how this is an adaptation of the DC Vertigo comic by Andy Diggle & Jock on some other site, like Wikipedia. Or alternatively, here, because you’ve just read it. If you would like to discuss how faithful it was to the original issues, or how one of their hats is a different colour to the hat that was shown in issue 7, then pop your pimply behind off to some bedwetting little comics forum, you insufferable waste of oxygen and recourses you. Get a job and quit your whining. Here at Zombiehamster.com we deal with cold, hard, extended, throbbing facts! We deal with so many facts you’ll need two hands and an open mouth just to take the tip of these facts and…

….Damn… lost my train of thought there. I know what that’s from though, it’s from the gallons of testosterone that is currently flowing through me like horsie spunk flows through Marc Almond (allegedly). This is simply due to the fact that I have recently sat through The Losers and it scratched me in that funny spot that makes my leg kick off a bit.

Five mercenaries are on a mission in Bolivia, to kill some murdering, drug running foreign types (damn their eyes) but recoil at the revelation that there is a huge busload of children being used as drug mules. Their orders are to proceed regardless (like in The Running Man), but they are not men of compassionless malevolence, they’re Americans for God’s sake. Their orders come from a faceless armchair General (who is faceless because he’s on the radio transmitter, he may or may not be a General and he may or may not be sitting down but who’s writing this, you? No, it’s not you, it’s me, unless I’m reading it back, which I don’t usually, cos that’s the type of gung ho, living on the edge kind of adventure junkie that I am) called Max.

Max is bad.

They bundle the children in the helicopter after a daring rescue in which people get shot and some stuff explodes. Then the helicopter explodes, splattering tiny pieces of Bolivian children across the forest floor. So far so good, but here’s the catch, the mercenaries are all believed to be on the helicopter, so they are all pronounced dead.

The rest of the movie consists of the five men and a tagalong lady hunting Max and cleverly blowing up things and shooting people in imaginative ways. It’s part A Team, part The Big Hit (long forgotten but worthwhile Mark Wahlberg action film from the late 90’s). The films greatest selling point is Jeffrey Dean Morgan (The Comedian from Watchmen) who is like a hunkier Robert Downey Jr (especially now that RDJ has gone a bit preeny and smug and makes bloody terrible movies like Sherlock Holmes, Jesus, did you WATCH that crap?) and I love him, just a little bit. Apparently he was in a movie with Gerard Butler in which the two of them are driven to the edge and have to kill Hilary Swank because she stole their families and they want them back. The movie is called PS I Love You and I am going to watch it and drink heavily until my synopsis transpires as the actual plot.

So, yeah, anyways, this Losers film is great if you like one liners, explosions, guns and fancy cinematography. If there is some form of cultural subtext or greater meaning, you lost me about 15 minutes in buddy, but if you want to see a man get blown off a motorbike into a jet engine which then explodes, then you are in the right place. It also has a highly skilled Asian sniper man in a nice hat.

Highly recommended.

I had drifted from horror movies over the last few months. Like an ageing player, I was losing the initial thrill of acquisition. Mundanity drenched routine left me hollow and uncaring enough to temporarily leave the game. That was it, a lifetime hobby, discarded. When I say a lifetime, I mean it as well. Horror wasn’t always the easiest thing to talk about with people. It was really only in the late nineties when pseudo postmodernist blockbusters began enticing the crowds that a true global interest was spawned. The following decade saw an unprecedented rise in adaptations, remakes and new offerings, until we truly were spoilt for choice.

This was a mixed blessing. On the one hand it gave hundreds of thousands of people like me a platform to share information, delight and expectations in relation to current horror releases. A few months ago however, I really felt as if I was losing interest in a genre which I felt had shaped my personality in many ways as a young man.

I felt a lifelong love slip away, and I was on the verge of thinking that it was for the best, for both of us.

But…..

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

I head heard whisperings of ‘Human Centipede’ earlier this year and I have to admit my interest was most certainly piqued. For the uninitiated, the synopsis is this:

A crazed German (ahem) surgeon, the leading authority on the separation of Siamese twins, has begun a worrying indulgence in a new twisted obsession. Instead of the division of creatures, he wishes to combine them in what he views as the next form of evolution. Early experiments are alluded to in the opening part of the movie where we are treated to a clip of the doctor staring lovingly at photographs of rows of Rottweilers who appear at first glance to be playfully sniffing each other’s bottoms. A grave in the garden inscribed to ‘My Sweet Three Hound’ suggests differently.

Que two American girls who have decided to follow the suggestion of a ‘cute’ German waiter they met for 50 seconds and attend an unnamed party in the back arse of nowhere. Guess what, their car breaks down in the rain and they need to find shelter. What follows is the tried and tested technique of absolute blind stupidity and lack of common sense leading to empathising with the maniac, as these girls are so unfathomably idiotic that you almost want them to be disposed of in unspeakably nasty ways. Inevitably, they wind up at the door of our beloved surgeon.

I don’t do spoilers and so I won’t tell you anymore than you will see from the posters or the trailer. I will, however, say that what follows is far more than the initial concept at hand. When I heard that it was about a mad German who in no way represents or resembles Josef Mengele and his Nazi experiments in any way shape or form, joining three people together, ass to mouth, to create a new and unique species: The Human Centipede. I wondered if it was all going to be based around the unveiling of the creature. This comes surprisingly early in the film, leaving plenty of time to develop the story, build tension and toy with our expectations.

Considering that there is much focus on the passing of solids from one body through two others, I found the film surprisingly chipper in tone. Dutch writer / director Tom Six has a clever grasp of black humour and utilises it to great measure. The tone is tense without being superfluously nerve wracking; it is mirthsome without being camp.

The only thing more delightful than spending an early summer evening in watching Human Centipede with the curtains closed is knowing that there’s another on the way. And another, as this is the ‘First Sequence’ of three apparently. Huzzah!

Human Centipede is possibly the best first date movie since The Hillside Strangler. It has also single-handedly reignited my passion and love for horror movies, which was something I didn’t see happening for a very long time. It’s good to be back, let the carnage commence.

It would seem like China Mièville’s foray into crime fiction has paid off. It was a risky departure, abandoning the much loved Bas Lag universe (after the astonishing trilogy of Perdido Street Station, The Scar and Iron Council) and inhabiting an apparently (initially anyway) more grounded one.

The result of this endeavor is ‘The City and the City’ which has just won Mièville his third Arthur C Clarke award. This award was established by Clarke himself to help promote Science Fiction and Fantasy Literature in Britain. It is fantastic that the system is acknowledging Mièville’s immense talent. There is something special about China Mièville, he is fiercely eloquent without being verbose or showy, he can weave together tales of startling intricacy, yet always leaves a few stones unturned. There is a depth and level of subtle detail to his work that not only satisfies, it rewards.

Being renowned for creating an entire universe to set your novels in and then abandoning it (possibly temporarily) to detour into alternative territory is a ballsy move, especially in the hyper obsessive, bed wetting, hair splitting world of Fantasy and Sci Fi. Some factions of which have decried this departure as sacrilege.

Mièville is jauntily dismissive of such pigeonholing, saying that “I think these debates are silly – genre is a moveable feast, but some people do ask these questions. What I don’t want to do is disavow the fantastic tradition I come from. This is a book from within the fantasy tradition, which hopefully can also be a perfectly faithful crime book – and a good book.”

With his upcoming novel ‘The Kracken’ being accompanied by several Forbidden Planet signings, this might be just the chance to familiarize yourself with one of the most exciting, innovate and fascinating authors in British Fiction.

Congratulations Mr Mièville, here’s to many more deserved awards.

For Details on the China Mièville signings click HERE

Sick Tonight

dan le sac Vs Scroobius Pip | MySpace Music Videos

Wow. As Dan le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip draw to the end of their European tour (promoting new album Logic Of Chance and Scroobius Pip’s new book ‘Poetry In (e)Motion) They present to us, like benevolent viral video gods, a new promo for album opener (and instant live favourite) ‘Sick Tonight’.

Creator of the sublime Acme Novelty Library, Chris Ware was recently commissioned to submit a cover for Fortune Magazine’s 500 issue. This is an economic magazine which annualy publishes it’s listings of the 500 wealthiest and most influential businesses and individuals.

Chris Ware may not have been the most sensible person to ask for this. Not only is he an insanely talented artist, but has a wry and cutting sense of humour that plays things very close to the bone. Needless to say his eventual submission is everything that someone who is even remotely familiar with his work would have expected. Unfortunately, this didn’t include the editors at Fortune magazine, who sought out something a little less topical.

In a perfect world, this would have been used.

It should really be studied up close!

Click HERE For the FULL SIZE Version.

(You Can Open It In A New Window To See The MAGNIFICENT Detail Involved)

I’m somewhat speechless.

Awed.

But speechless nonetheless.

o_0

Yub Nub

God, I still want an Ewok SO BADLY!!!

Some dreams just aren’t meant to be I guess.

After reading The Guardian’s interview with Mike Judge (which was unfortunately as benign as most Guardian interviews) I was reminded that last year saw the release of a new animated series called The Goode Family, which was written, directed and starred Judge. This news will be greeted by a mixture of enthusiasm and apathy in equal measure. After the rise and fizzle of Beavis & Butthead, King Of The Hill fell into the Fox backwoods a little with the concurrent rise in popularity of The Simpsons and later Family Guy. Whilst KOTH never held much appeal to the archetypal attention deficit disorder inducing layout that made bloated, arrogant, one trick frat boy Seth McFarlane a household name, it had a charm about it that was lost on a lot of people. It had subtlety and a dry, acerbic wit which was accentuated with frequent or at least chronological viewing.

The adventures of the Hill family will unfortunately never be the same following the sudden, unexpected death of Brittany Murphy last year (the voice of Luanne, one of the shows finest creations). This uncertainty was already in existence however, due to two cancellations and subsequent reprieves throughout the show’s history.

The first few minutes of The Goode Family are difficult. It is hard to settle initially for yet another animated family set up. A burly son, socially aware parents who echo Viz’s ‘The Modern Parents’ and Beavis & Butthead’s hippy teacher Van Driessen in equal measure and a daughter who is just trying to fit in. First thought is; ‘This better be going somewhere, because I think I’ve seen all this before.’

Thankfully it does. Although a pilot will only ever contain the most rudimentary elements of a show’s characters and potential avenues fro plot development, this succeeded in retaining a level of calm throughout, which pays off. The dryness of KOTH is evident as the motivations of each individual are spelled out a little for our benefit. There are a few great laugh out loud moments, all of which are derided from very believable situations, and thankfully no one ever uses a non sequitur comparative gag set up. The show actually feels quite quaint in many ways and reminds me of a lot of really good quality, equally underplayed animations such as Stressed Eric and The Critic, if only in tone.

I was sorry to hear that the show has been cancelled after one season of 13 episodes. I will enjoy making my way through the rest of them and anyway, in today’s world, things will keep running as long as there is interest in them.

Mike Judge is releasing a new movie Extract, very soon and maybe this might just give his magnificent resume of great animation and wonderful movies resurgence in popularity.

You can read the Guardian Interview with Mike Judge HERE

You can watch the first episode of The Goode Family…well, right above this article.