Moving Target. (Don ‘The Dragon’ Wilson & Roger Corman in Galway!)

Roger Corman is a name that’s synonymous with schlock for any discerning fan of the Horror and Sci Fci genre. His Edgar Allan Poe adaptations with Vincent price are amongst some of the most iconic horror movies ever made. The Raven, Masque of the Red Death, The Pit and the Pendulum and Premature Burial to name but a few. He also gave many of today’s greatest directors, such as Francis Ford Coppola and Martin Scorsese, their first big break in the movies.

Corman and Coppola made a movie called Dementia 13 in 1963, starring Patrick Magee and filmed it in Ireland. Many of the Poe adaptations were also filmed in the west of Ireland, with its gothic landscapes and disfigured locals proving more successful for setting the tone of these wonderful movies better than any manufactured studio lot could provide. It was Corman’s affinity for the emerald isle that lead him to establish a production company in Conemara, just beside Galway.

A lifelong supporter of new talent, Corman has put his name to many things and can generally be used as a quality guide for recognising good trashy fun. Imagine then, my excitement when I discovered that the same year that I moved to Galway, Corman had produced a feature shot in the city called Moving Target starring none other than 80’s action legend and kickboxing star Don ‘The Dragon’ Wilson. The results are almost hypnotic in what is possibly one of the most ridiculous movies that I have ever seen.

The ‘plot’ is thus. Don has come to Ireland to meet a potential love interest that he has met (i.e.: groomed) online. This love interest is so unbelievably ugly that we spent the entire movie wondering if she was wearing prosthetics, or was altered by cgi, like the inbreeds in the recent Hills Have Eyes remake. The only reason for casting this unfortunate seems to be that she has red hair, which coincidentally all the women in the movie seem to have.

In a bid to impress this meek, shrew like creature, (‘He keeps trying to kiss me, on the mouth’ she tells a friend who responds ‘Well, he’s an American isn’t he?’) he has to purchase a six pack of Beamish stout (In the most blatant use of product placement since I Robot) to impress her boss, so that she can get the day off work. He then inadvertently buys a six pack that contains a nuclear device belonging to the IRA.

I’m not making any of this up, I promise you. The only thing that makes this film more ridiculous than its premise are the production values. There is a car chase sequence filmed on the Galway docks which was obviously only hired for the day. They drive around in circles repeating the same in car shots about six times.

The ‘Oirish’ actors are all hilarious and I even saw a few people turning up in it that I know from about town. This does not however mean that any of them are any good. The bumpkin like shenanigans border on racist, but are no less hilarious for this. The acting is horrible beyond belief, the action scenes are horrifically edited and to be honest, I haven’t had such fun watching a movie in a long, long time. Come laugh at how backward and untalented they all are, it’s worth the price of admission alone.

I urge you to seek out a copy of this, get some beers and a pizza and laugh your ass off. Roger Corman, thank you so much for this because, like a daisy through concrete, there is a simple enjoyable beauty to this.

Coming soon, another review of a Corman feature shot in my old art college, starring Patsy Kensit. I bet you can’t wait.

Moving target can be purchased here: http://tinyurl.com/df7k9b

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