Zombiehamster.com

One of the hardest working and innovative artists around today, Akira The Don, has an output that is so prolific that it would put a highly prolific production machine thingie to shame (I am far to groggy to create anything in the form of methaphor today.) As we all wait with anticipation for album number two, a cd/mp3 “Thieving” has been keeping us all entertained in the meantime. Available from his website here
it is well worth the listen and is available at a ridiculously meagre price (So you really have no excuse).
In a contrived, saturated industry, originality and raw talent are rarely built upon. Akira’s work stands out so much because, he never for a moment rests on his laurel’s. Tracks are regularly reworked, old favourites manipulated, soundscapes altered. His website is the ultimate insight into the ongoing creative process, juxtaposed with detailed accounts of the effort involved to achieve anything in the world of music. His second music video in as many weeks, here, for your enjoyment is; Akira The Don’s “Click Clack Blam” Remix

Akira The Don ft Pixel – Click Clack Blam from akdonovan on Vimeo.

With the early onset of spring, when a young man’s mind fills with joy and hope, a false sense of security surrounded us all. Long, carefree afternoons have been idly passed, sipping cocktails and leafing through novels. Evenings have been spent with friends, watching the sun both set and rise again. All indicative characteristics of summertime. Except it was all too peaceful, it was seeming to go all to smoothly, when, yesterday, I heard the news. No sooner had I heard the words, than my heart sank and my mind wandered to a place darker than on a five am in mid November when you decided that it would be a good idea to sit up all night on your own drinking whiskey and watching Mike Leigh films.

Big Brother is once again gearing up to reinstate it’s media omnipresence, regardless of who will be watching it, it’s a sure thing that in some way, most of us will be talking about it. Be it of some scenester who’s borderline musical knowledge will be overshadowed by their outlandish fashion which, in their absence from the outside world will become the new look for the 80% of people who seem to primarily tailor themselves from the produce of Topshop or some other form of complete turnip. It would seem that we all like a good laugh at those who make us feel superior and as we aren’t allowed to go to the asylum’s to have a laugh like we did in Victorian times, so the good people at Endemol and Channel 4 get them to voluntarily put themselves up for public ridicule and humiliation, shrouded thinly in the promise of a fame that, in this late stage of the programme’s history, has proved to be destroying of both livelihood and character. Sorry, that is the point of the show, isn’t it? I hopefully haven’t made some horrendous misinterpretation of it have I?

I guess that I felt like treading this well familiar route as, it will be a personal experience, as always for me, albeit partially against my will. I have a routine which seems to follow the course of the show like clockwork each year. I will make a failed attempt to watch the initial run. The advent of two dozen or so squealing teenagers and random eccentric older people, mewling, fawning and strutting whilst marking their territory and staking their position amongst the rest of the group, always proves a little much for my sensitive soul to bear.

For the next few weeks, an indifferent, casual observation will come through the talk of others, the fact that it will be on every newspaper, news and entertainment website and the radio, leaving little choice but to renew that initial viewing to at least put a face to the name and (more than likely) scandalous implications that have begun to unravel. We have no real political news for the summer as politicians take their holidays to sit on the beach and then build sand castles which they them SMASH with their gout ridden feet. This will be our current affairs.

We may get to see: Boobs! This is a concurrent theme in the Big Brother house, usually, three to four sets of breasts are put into the house, then rated on regular exposure, the amount of edited shots and general undertaking of the whole “Experience*” Then one pair is evicted to pursue a career as a model for Nuts magazine. The second is soon sent to join her in a double cover shoot with accompanying pieces for Loaded and News Of The World. The final sets of breasts will remain for either the cattiness of their owners, or their essential role in the chosen course of the show.

Violence: A rarer occurrence, but that’s why the show get them to undergo stressful, team orientated situations together, then ply them with booze! It’s like the world’s worst staff night out. Thus, fights are regularity, mostly in the form of slanging matches; physical offenses are less common but can happen.

Racism: The last few seasons of Big Brother provided us with some of the most gratuitous racism debates this side of Kramer and Dog The Bounty Hunter. Everyone seemed to get so excited at the prospect of more racism that it took focus away from the boobs for a few weeks. Nuts forgave the racist boobs though and gave them another covershoot.

Rumpage: Yes, the primary reason that this show exists. It’s one of the last televisual taboo’s. The creators tapped into the minds of the masses and came up with it thusly. “We need a show, were people, just might, get to see two people shagging. On telly. That’s it.”

In lieu of actual frotting, there will always be someone who decides that it’s a good idea to partake in a spot of onanism, in a crowded room whilst everyone else is asleep. Apart from everyone watching it on telly of course.

So, let the familiar circus begin. I can’t say that I’ll be following, or even commenting on this again, but I will be made aware, I am sure as we all will, of it’s presence and more importantly, what we all think of the people involved. This year in the house, I am hoping for:

1 : A Ketamine-fuelled Dubstep fan just off a three day happy fun time weekend. With no drugs or music. Although that would just be like the old lady who liked like Sean Bean from a few years back.

2 : An embittered internet writer who feels he is far superior to all of this, cast amongst those whom he deplores, with no way to notate his aggravation or vent in any way! That’ll learn him.

3: Running Man type tasks, where limbs and lives are lost. Or a full blown lynching. Oh, hang on, that’s what “They” want me to want isn’t it. Damnit.

4 : For the house to go bad. Like Hal in 2001.

5 : Not to hear that bastard commentator again. Ever.

Lethal Bizzle has caused a little bit of a stir this week, when it was announced that he will play this Years Download Festival. He will be appearing on the last day of the festival,  Sunday 15th June and will appear on the second stage. A higher billing than the likes of Jonathan Davis, Dillinger Escape Plan, Johnny Truant and Saxon!

Apparently, this has upset a few internet types, who are threatening to bottle Bizzle offstage before he can finish his set. There are also those crying similarity to the Jay-Z / Glastonbury debacle. This is about as far removed from that situation as possible. Anyone who is even remotely familiar with the music of Bizzle will confirm that above all, it’s pretty damn heavy. From his Gallows collaboration last year, to his early rabble rousing More Fire Crew anthems. There is an energy and an originality that will fit perfectly into the surroundings of Download.

The haters should really focus their attentions on more pressing matters of their beloved festival, like, how they can have the audacity to present Lostprophets as a headline act. Lostprophets? Really? Also the fact that Aussie “Drum and Bass isn’t dead mate, honest” duo Pendulum are also playing high up the bill on the Saturday.

It will, hopefully be the case that Lethal Bizzle’s performance will speak for itself and that his dynamic persona will win over what initially seems to be a predetermined hostile crowd. He has a hectic schedule this summer, playing ; Wireless, Reading & Leeds, Bestival, Lovebox Weekender, Zoo8 and Blissfields.

Altogether then…”What’s my name now?……..Bizzle Bizzle!!!!”

After being declared a mistrial in 2007, with the jury gridlocked in a 10-2 guilty verdict. Gun-totin’ reclusive production genius Phil Spector walked free from the impending first degree murder charge that loomed over him. A new trial has been set to open on September 29th 2008.

His eccentricity and petulance throughout the court proceedings created both concern and suspicion, and to others, merely confirmed what they had known all along. That the man is a little bit odd. Thereby, a natural target in a situation of an accusatory nature.

Police received a call from Spector’s driver after an incident in Feb 2003, in which he stated that his employer had killed someone. The police arrived to find the body of 40 year old B-Movie actress Lana Clarkson, who had been shot in the face.

Spector’s defences claim that she shot herself in the face.

The upcoming trial will re-examine evidence and new witnesses will be called. It is a most interesting case in that, Spector will be tried as much for his personality as for the alleged crime. Whatever the papers may say. The fact that he is an eccentric and peculiar individual, the courts will view this in a much harder light than a man who is prepared to stand doe-eyed and profess his innocence, regardless of the truth. If, as he has done sofar, shows no sign of remorse, guilt or much emotion at all, this will act as a damning factor and may become the focus of the trial as opposed to the factual development of it.

It will be very interesting to see how the news reports cover this story when it reappears to see if the focus lies on the trial, or on Spector’s unconventional behaviour.

If this were to be investigated deeper, it could be easily compared with the ideal that man always fears an outsider. That he will, given the opportunity, allow his emotions towards an individual to become clouded. Were he in the same situation with a more familiar or affable character, the same preconceptions would not exist.

Can this, in the case of a man who is clearly a character of his own construction, allow for a fair trial? That’s a whole other essay you have right there. Let’s see how this all goes……..

Apologies for the recent spate of Warren Zevon related titles to these posts. I have been listening to sweet little else for the last week. I had passing familiarity with the odd album for a few years but recently acquired the entire back catalogue. Such humourous. satirical, biting lyricism I have not heard for quite some time. Needless to say I am enjoying it greatly and I would urge all of those of you whom are unfamiliar to do your darndest to allow one or two of his releases to come into your possession.

Zevon’s tale is a sad one and one which I dont feel I can do justice to today as I have a few other issues in mind. Therefore I will merely and humbly suggest a few possibilities for your consideration. Excitable Boy would be a great album for anyone to begin with, the album is the highlight as there is not one weak track in its brief but perfect 31 minute running time. It contains outstanding songs, such as Roland, The Headless Thompson Gunner, Lawyers, Guns & Money, Excitable Boy & Werewolves Of London. The latter being the theme song for Tom Cruise / Paul Newman crapathon The Color (sic) Of Money.

If you were feeling inclined to investigate any further, you could do worse with your squalid, pointless existence on this planet by finding yourself listening to Life’ll Kill Ya which is phenomenal, and that would not be a description that I would apply to many things. There are some tracks here that will infect you and have you returning for further listens, the likes of My Shit’s F**ked Up, I Was In The House When The House Burned Down & For My Next Trick I’ll Need A Volunteer.

One of my favourite standalone tracks is Play It All Night Long. So, for a dark, funny and oftentimes sad journey through a tremendous mind, go and constructively expand your music collection with some of Zevon’s back catalogue.
Aside from that, I must admit that most of my pursuits are literary. As some of you may know, I am currently pursuing a new path towards a very different career and so am using each day to try and educate myself in some aspect of classic and contemporary literature that I am as of yet unfamiliar with. I have taken to reading in two hour blocks and then alternating, to readjust my mind into transferring focus, content and interpretation methods.

Studying poetry is one of the most surprising things that has taken my interest. I was always, I may now shamefully admit, a little snooty about poetry, mostly taken in its modern context, however, I must say that upon a short bout of study and familiarising myself with pentameters and iambic structures and all that jazz, I am now taking great joy in my newly enlightened interpretational skills and am thoroughly enjoy the works of writers whom I have long held dear, such as Edgar Allen Poe, John Milton (Paradise Lost), Lord Byron and WH Auden, in a new and wonderful light. I feel all the better for it.

It is wonderful to take joy in something which you previously would have thought held no interest to you. It is on this basic principal that I am alternating my reading matter, a great deal of it has been selected from outside my usual comfort zone. Interspersing them with old and recent favourites. I have been greatly enjoying the novels of Albert Camus having just finished “L’Etranger” and “The Myth Of Sisyphus” although considered for most of his life a peer of Jean Paul Satre, his ideals are presented in a very different fashion, which will be repugnant to some and will evoke empathy in others. Stark, memorable books which I highly recommend. L’Etranger was the inspiration for the Cure’s “Killing An Arab”.

This becomes apparent when the protagonist is standing on the beach with a gun in his hand, and er, kill’s an Arab. I was pretty saddened I remember a few years back when I saw a reissued edition of Staring At The Sea, an early Cure singles collection, that I observed a sticker of no little size, containing a wordy disclaimer on how the song was not racist or in any way connected with the September 11th terrorist attacks. This puzzled the shit out of me I can tell you, seeing that the track was written in the late 1970’s. I think the fact that a disclaimer was required is what unsettles me the most. Are we really getting that stupid?

I saw There Will Be Blood last night and now want a Victorian Moustache. A big shouty one. It was wicked!!

All signs indicate that summer is indeed upon us, vast quantities of our inhabitants have taken to the streets, intent on displaying all of their purulent, pasty flesh for all to see. As ruffians turn pinker on one side whilst driving around in Honda Civics with additional plastic adornments, listening to what I believe is known as “Hardstyle” from my brief but informative encounters with such creatures. (It’s different to Hardcore, more Trance-y, with helium based vocals.) Anyway, discussion of the listening habits of scallys is not why I write today, we’ll save that for a more bilious post.

Despite the good weather and general inclination towards congregating with the masses in the standard meeting places to partake in drinking Buckfast with the student’s, posers and hobo’s that make up the majority of the population of this city, I have managed to restrict any outdoor activity to pleasant excursions in good company, to locations were there is less dense activity of public drunkenness and tomfoolery.

Also, nearly setting my apartment on fire in the process. Yes kids, don’t try and use a disposable barbeque on the third floor balcony of your apartment. Height, Wind & Fire= Bad. In fact, I think that Height, Wind & Fire is now the name of my new band. All was well in the end, George Forman came to the rescue and the food was saved! Joy!

Human nature has once again been at the forefront of my thoughts. I fear that we move ever closer to an age were we will soon be almost incomprehensible to each other. Communication on the most basic of levels is a disintegrating attribute and it is always dismaying when avoidable incidents occur which could be so easily resolved with conversation. However, if we do not learn from such situations, a just view on the human condition will never be reached.

I don’t wish to appear despondent in any way, merely thougthful on the matter of late. If one reflects on every argument or unpleasant situation that one has been in with those close to them (Friends, family or otherwise), it would appear that reason and communication are the two factors that are usually absent from the preceding events and this is a crying shame. It seems commonplace to be more effort to vocalise ones grievances, rather than to share them constructively.

Enough on that, for I am here to talk about movies, believe it or not. Due to a recent turnaround in my employment schedule, I have found myself readjusting to night work and so am now generally pottering about until the dawning hours. This has been marvelous for several reasons. The first being that I have all those serene, midnight hours to peruse books at my leisure, both of improvement and entertainment. Secondly, I have had much cause to sit and enjoy movies, without disturbances and have gone through quite a number in the last week. Some worth mentioning, others less so.

The two that have really taken my attention are one new and one not so new, Doomsday is the new film by rapidly ascending Descent and Dog Soldiers director Neil Marshall. Online perceptions of this movie have been far from complimentary so far and I feel that they are a little too harsh, for a brief examination of the film, could leave a viewer very rewarded indeed. For a start, it all depends on what you want to get from the movie. It is important to remember that there was an aspect of humour in his last offerings, that counteracted the extreme gore onscreen, in horror, this is the most difficult of tasks, one which most American horror’s fail to do at an extraordinary rate. From this humour, one gets glimpses into the excitement that resides in Marshall as he unleashes his work upon us. This excitement is parallel to the humour in Doomsday.

Taking his love of 70’s and 80’s cinema and shying away from the solid genre lifts the like of which, Tarantino & Rodriguez have been offering up of late, we are presented with a veritable selection of genre slices. It is these drastic and blatant shifts that keep a unique turn on these well-trodden tracks. The characters are ridiculous, shallow and vacuous, and they serve the feature splendidly. For, any attempt to deepen the stereotypes displayed would confuse and distract from the sheer madness that is occurring around them.

Considering the absolute tosh that is released under the guise of comic book adaptations, this has been the closest thing to a decent comic book adaptation that I have seen in quite some time. The car chases, Bob Hoskins, post-apocalyptic Scotsmen (Hilarious), Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Medieval Knights, Malcolm McDowell, Zombies! C’mon people, complaining about character depth in such situations is like saying that your Big Mac was a little overdone. This is a welcome addition to both the horror / exploitation genre and also to Neil Marshall’s increasingly expanding portfolio. We can only hope that for our benefit, they give him even more money for the next one.

Obviously from some previous indiscretions in a past life, I was made to watch Cloverfield. All I can say is, don’t watch Cloverfield. It is watchable but the sheer annoyance factor is way, way too high. It will also annoy you more after you have watched the movie. You have been warned. Watch The Host (2005) instead, it is a far superior movie in all senses, with a better monster, less infuriating cast and an actual story. For, what passes as a plot in Cloverfield, is, well, it is a waste of time to convey, so I won’t.

Also on a bum note, I was naive enough to give yet another of Judd Apatow’s terrible, terrible movies a chance. Apatow, has become synonymous, with overstretched, gratingly banal comedies, where his college buddies and himself have a jolly old time apparently, but forget to make a movie in the process. Superbad and Knocked Up were painful to anyone familiar with comedy, wit or common sense. His latest tainted passing, is known as Walk Hard : The Dewey Cox story, (I know, I know, look, I watch them so you don’t have to) is a really weak pastiche on Walk The Line and whilst the bad taste of subject matter may have contained some amusing spoofs, it just fails to deliver at every turn. In fact, it just hurt after a while and when it clearly would not end, despair takes a hold and as the jokes dry up a good half hour before the film starts to wind down, one is left a much more damaged individual at the closing credits. Damn you Apatow, Damn you Seth Roegen, damn you all to hell.

I have seen more but I’ve been thinking about Walk Hard for the last ten minutes and so that’s a good time to stop and go do something else. I will follow up with some more intriguing movies shortly. Oh, in movie development news. They are now making a Magnum PI movie, with Matthew McConaughey. Wow. William H Macy as Higgins, no none for you Higgins, you’ve had yours.

With Hollywood set on purposefully raising and dashing our hopes and memories of all things good, with a never ending crescendo of ill advised adaptations, remakes and belated sequels. It is difficult to muster excitement when the prospect of yet another beloved childhood programme being exhumed, butchered and handed over to Shia La Bouf.
Difficult, but not impossible.

There is a part inside all of us, even the most cynical, that leaps a little when we hear about an old show or movie or even toy line that is being altered into a potential summer blockbuster. It is usually swiftly followed by disappointment, apathy and regret, but then again so is sex, but that doesn’t mean that we will all become celibate for fear of evoking these feelings.

We were all excited when we saw the Transformers trailer; we were all excited when we saw the new Indiana Jones trailer (Both vehicles of the omnipresent La Bouf) however your take on the finished product may be. If there is one thing that movies have utilised the internet for, to their considerable advantage, is pre release excitement. A trailer can now be up eighteen months before the movie in question is released. It seems that we are finding out in advance about movies oftentimes sooner than some of the parties involved. Well, maybe not quite, but you get the idea.

So, June 12th 2009. A little over one year away. Why is this important? It quite possibly, will not be important, however, it will most definitely have a few people’s interest as it is the proposed release date for the A-Team movie.

Yes, indeed, they are making an A-Team movie. Should we get excited, the answer is simply, I don’t know. It breaks down as follows; John Singleton will be directing. “But I like John Singleton, he made Boyz N The Hood and Higher Learning and they were great movies” you may well cry and this is true, though Boyz N The Hood was made in 1991 and Higher Learning in ‘95. He has also been responsible for such questionable offerings as Poetic Justice and Shaft 2000. Not to mention, more recently, Four Brothers and 2 Fast 2 Furious.

In fact, he seems to have had such a good time making 2 Fast 2 Furious, that he has decided to give the scriptwriter some follow up work by allowing him to pen his latest project. First major script news is that they are Iraq war veterans, desperate to clear their names after they are accused of a crime that they didn’t commit. So, who has been allocated for the all important roles? Three names are currently attached to the project.

Howling Mad Murdoch – Woody Harrelson
BA Baracus – Ice Cube
Hannibal Smith – Bruce Willis

Make of this what you will. It is important to remember that the A-Team was a very tongue in cheek show, there was a playfulness to it that could easily be lost if condensed into a new format, with a restricted running time. Silliness could be assisted in it’s new guise, albeit unintentionally, by the sheer lack of intimidation posed by “Are we there yet? and Are we done yet’s.” Ice Cube as BA.

There is a possibility that this project, a quarter of a century after the show began, may be a little too late. The names associated would have garnered a very different reaction had this project been announced ten years ago. It feels almost as if this is being made because there are less and less shows that have remained untouched and so, it’s just the next in a long line of movies cashing in on our own misplaced nostalgia.

Was it the show that we loved, or were we were when we watched it? The age that we associate with it? Who we watched it with? Maybe the reason that so many of these adaptations and modern versions seem so misplaced because they are missing the point. There is a strong possibility, that as we hold so many things dear to us throughout our childhoods that to see them disfigured, modernised and mishandled leaves us colder than just seeing a bad movie.

Harrelson as Murdoch is a damn good choice though.

My recently ongoing obsession with occupation continues. It is an engrossing subject, especially when viewed in regards to comparing position with personal satisfaction. I was pondering the dilemma of the standard record store employee recently, shattering the illusion of any glamour which may be held within. It is no accident that they are a breeding ground for the disillusioned, the misanthropic and the forlorn.

Anyone with any experience in this field will know well that it is impossible to generalise any situation completely, it would be both arrogant and presumptuous to do so. So let us for one moment consider this; the point withheld was not that all employees of such institutions are this way, merely that a frightening majority of them can be placed into several distinctive sub-categories of malcontent. There are always exceptions, however, in this case, they are generally of the temperament that they can keep their head down and just get on with it, and that can be as dangerous as buying into it altogether.

The success of major music retailers is knowing how to exactly manipulate individuals into equally powerful, target driven automatons. The disgust comes in the manipulation of such a powerful incentive as music or film to entice such unfortunate souls. As we discussed recently, it is the easiest way to kill an enthusiasm for the arts, to be saturated by the many negative aspects of one’s beloved media format of choice, with little or no outlet to explore the things that made that passion develop in the first place.

There is something very specific in the media consumer as well.
Obviously, as it has been the subject of film, music and parody for many years now. The constant damnation of those whom frequent the business that now controls you, is one of the small things that keep the day going, but how long can anyone take of that before they become unjustly opinionated and constantly judgemental? When you are constantly expected to critique and cast aspersions, there will come a point when you are just going through the motions. The record store critic is slowly becoming an untrustworthy guide, probably because he hates your very existence and calls you a pedophile as soon as you leave the store.

To attain a true appreciation for anything, one must be able to make fair comparison, to separate personal opinion for artistic worth. The world has become almost too cynical to be cynical anymore, and apathy is steadfast taking place as the emotion of choice. Everybody is a critic now, the internet has allowed us all to add our two cents, why then are so many inclined to be so vehemently negative on all counts?

As these are our peers, they are our generation, it is a concern. If taken away from their captors, to bypass the appeal of a 20% staff discount and the chance at running their own (wait for it) section, of the store, to just walk away, could all the knowledge, the ambition, the talent and the dreams flourish? Maybe not, but they’d have a better chance than they do now.

To Be Continued……………………………………….